You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
