Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
