Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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