Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
