i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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