My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
