Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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