Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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