i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
