Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
