'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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