shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
