Little spoons don't ask big questions
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize