YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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