yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
