I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
