his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I need a beard to bite.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
