I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
