brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
