Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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