WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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