"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize