If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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