Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize