it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
