how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
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At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
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I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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