we made out on top of his cat.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
