Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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