A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize