Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
