My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
