it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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