So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
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