Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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