I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
