I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My room smells like vodka and shame
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
