the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize