whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
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This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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