the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
