dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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