He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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