I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize