There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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