Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
