Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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