i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
