I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
