i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
