Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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