I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
