What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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