ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
