just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
