they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
