YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
