There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
