honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
