Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
