Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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