He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
