I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize