I've blown a few things in my day
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
